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Steven: "If these had been pop tarts, we'd both be dead men."

Mallory: "Alex, I told you whenever you take a message to write down who

called, when they called, and what it was about."


Alex: "I did. Somebody stupid called, sometime today, about something



Mallory: "Alex, you know that could be *ANY* one of my friends!"

Alex: "What? Am I a weatherman? I'm just a kid in high school!"
Alex: "Think what we're doing. We're taking a simple peasant girl and we're

transforming her into somebody who could even have a conversation with me!"


Jennifer: "I think you're gonna have to give her a little more incentive than



Mallory: "Come on, Alex. You're getting a little too pompous even for


Alex: "Good evening. Keaton Manor. Oh, dad... I meant, in a manor of speaking,

hello... Keaton."

Steven: "The fat man has landed. The eagle walks alone."
Steven: "Nick, when did you first become interested in art?"


Nick: "I don't know."


Steven: "Could you expand on that?"


Nick: "I-I-I-I-I D-O-O-O-O-N-T K-N-O-O-O-O-W."


Steven: "I see..."


Nick: "Dad, don't interrupt him!"


Steven: "I'm sorry, Nick, what were you going to say after I-I-I-I-I

D-O-O-O-O-N-T K-N-O-O-O-O-W?"


Nick: "I-I-I-I-I D-O-O-O-O-N-T R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R."


Steven: "So, Nick, do you go to school?"


Nick: "No."


Steven: "Could you be a little more specific?"


Nick: "Yeah, like, when school's on, I'm not there."

Nick: "I'm sorry I'm not the type of guy you want Mallory to go out with.

You know, I ain't no Charles Bronson."

Alex: "All right, Mallory, Subaru me."


Mallory: "It's Shihatsu."


Alex: "Bless you."

Nick: "A-a Alex, how's my little friend?"


Alex: "A-a Nick, how's my little neandrathal?"

Alex: "Come on dad. Are you planning to stay mad at us forever?"


Steven: "That is my plan."

Steven: "Parents are conditioned to accept a few mishaps. A broken vase,

some spilled milk on the floor... There was a kangaroo in my living room."


Alex: "It was just here for the party."

Nick: "How you's doin'?"

Alex: "We's doin' fine Nick."

Nick: "A - lex"

Alex: "Ni - ick"

Alex: "So Ellen tells me you're rich... richly deserving of many compliments,

that is."


Mr. Reed: "So you're Ellen's boyfriend."


Alex: "That is correct."


Mr. Reed: "What are you a dancer, poet, communist?"


Alex: "No sir, I'm against all those things."


Mr. Reed: "Well, that's refreshing."


Alex: "I stand before you as a representative of all that is decent in this

country and I might add I'm very sympathtic to the upper classes. Getting

back to your wealth, Ellen tells me you're a coorporate lawyer."


Mr. Reed: "That's right we deal in..."


Alex: "Acquisitions, anti-trust matters, takeovers, statutory mergers."


Mr. Reed: "Are you interested in the law?"


Alex: "Yes, sir... as it pertains to money."

Elyse: "What did you mean when you said you weren't a woman?"


Alex: "I'm not. I hate to break it to you this way."

Elyse: "Steven, what are you going to do? She's eighteen! What do we do?

Ground her?"


Steven: "Oh yes, we can ground her. Ground her as she's never been grounded

before. Ground her deep, ground her long, ground her hard."

Steven: "Since when did he start going by Bob?"


Elyse: "Steven, does it really matter?"


Steven: "Yes it does, Elyse. I'd like to know if I'm talking to my brother

Rob or Disco Bob."

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